The Power of No!
‘Karen and Jay share thoughts on how we can train ourselves to say ‘yes’ to our highest priorities – by saying ‘no’ to the less important.'
Oftentimes, it feels so easy to say ‘yes.’ Somebody wants your time. They covet your attention. They ask a small favor. And the easiest thing in the world is to say ‘yes.’ You feel gratified. You feel good that you’ve pleased someone. And you feel relieved – not having to confront or disappoint someone in their request. Relived that is – for the moment.
Because when you have some time to reflect, you begin to realize that whatever it is that you just said ‘yes’ to – almost certainly means that you have said ‘no’ to something else. Whether it’s the allocation of your time, perhaps your money or your attention – by definition, you will have less of it to spend on something else that may be far more important to you.
The concept of effectively saying 'yes' to what matters most in our lives hinges significantly on our ability to say 'no' to distractions and lesser priorities. Every time we say 'yes' to a request or obligation that does not align with our core values and significant goals, we inadvertently dilute our focus and energy. This is particularly evident in today’s world, where numerous demands and commitments can pull us in so many different and seemingly urgent directions.
Saying 'no' can be a powerful tool in prioritizing our commitments, enabling us to protect our time and energy from being squandered on trivial pursuits. For instance, in a family setting, choosing to limit participation in numerous social engagements can open up precious moments for family time, instilling values and creating lasting memories. I know this has been a vital practice for Karen and myself. And it’s not easy. To do so requires a clear understanding of what we value most, allowing us to filter out the noise that can easily overwhelm our schedules. Ultimately, by regularly practicing the truly difficult art of saying 'no,' we reaffirm our dedication to what truly enriches our lives.
In the realm of business, the principle of prioritization is equally important. We all often face a flurry of competing demands that can distract from the core mission. By learning to decline opportunities, meetings, or projects that don’t fit with our primary objectives, we can streamline efforts toward essential goals. When a company embraces strategic 'no's, it cultivates a culture that values efficiency and clarity, allowing it to thrive in a competitive landscape.
In essence, cultivating the ability to say 'no' encourages a more deliberate approach to decision-making, where we can assess each opportunity against our highest priorities. This doesn't just safeguard one's time and resources; it fosters a sense of empowerment and agency over our life choices. Every 'yes' carries weight; it signifies a commitment of time, energy, and focus. By honing the ability to articulate 'no' with grace and confidence, we create space to genuinely embrace our true passions and priorities, leading to a more fulfilling and purpose-driven life. I urge you to give it a ‘try!’
Death by a Thousand Paper Cuts: The Hidden Cost of Small Choices
Contributed by Sunshine team member, Jon Morton
"Death by a thousand paper cuts." That was a key takeaway I remember from a recent speech by a fellow financial professional at a company meeting. This gentleman, who has been in the life insurance and financial planning business for 60 years and still works because he loves it, highlighted one of the biggest money mistakes people make. It’s not always the large, obvious expenditures—it’s the little things.
Consider paying 10 cents more per gallon of gas because you didn’t use GasBuddy to find the lowest price nearby. Or grabbing a coffee for a few dollars instead of making it at home for pennies. These seemingly minor choices add up over time. Saying ‘no’ to some of these small expenses today can allow you to say yes to a brighter financial future tomorrow. For example, opting for a drink at a restaurant instead of free water might seem inconsequential, but those dollars have a cumulative impact. I’m not saying I never indulge, but I approach these decisions with a different mindset, influenced partly by the "death by a thousand paper cuts" philosophy and partly by something I learned from Warren Buffett years ago.
Let’s put it in perspective. Imagine a small “paper cut” expense of $1.39. By itself, that’s hardly significant, right? But if you make the same decision daily, it adds up to $507.35 over a year. Now, ask yourself: “Is this thing worth $500?” That question alone can shift your perspective. And when you factor in the compounding effect of returns Buffett loves to discuss—outlined in his book Snowball—the opportunity cost grows. Money spent is gone, but money invested can multiply. That $500 saved today could grow into $5,000 in the future. Suddenly, saying ‘no’ to $1.39 isn’t just about small savings—it’s about saying ‘yes’ to a much bigger financial future.
Apps like GasBuddy illustrate this principle well. I’ve personally said ‘no’ to overpaying for gas by taking a few seconds to check prices before filling up. When driving to another town, I compare prices in both locations and choose the better option. On multiple occasions, I’ve saved 60 or 70 cents per gallon, which adds up to $450 or more annually for those of us who go through a tank each week. Small efforts like these can yield significant rewards.
The same concept applies to junk food. Poor diet is one of the many preventable causes of illness—more than 80 percent of illnesses are linked to preventable factors. Studies show that $1 spent on prevention saves $15 in treatment costs down the road. So, spending an extra $500 on junk food today not only potentially costs you $5,000 in lost retirement savings but also adds at least $5,000 in future healthcare expenses.
It’s easier to say ‘no’ to large purchases because their hefty price tags often give us pause. But those tiny, seemingly insignificant costs can have a much greater impact over time. Sometimes, the best thing you can do is say ‘no’ today so that you can say ‘yes’ to the opportunities of tomorrow. In doing so, you may find yourself on a path not just to financial security but to a healthier, more intentional life.
The Power of Saying No: Unlocking Hidden Benefits
Contributed by Sunshine team member, Brian Hettrick
For years, I prided myself on being the go-to person—the one who always said ‘yes’ when someone needed help, a project needed tackling, or a commitment needed filling. It felt good to be relied upon, but I began to notice something unsettling: I was exhausted, stretched too thin, and losing touch with what really mattered to me. Learning to say ‘no’ was one of the most difficult skills I’ve ever developed, but it has profoundly transformed my life in ways I didn’t expect.
The first, and perhaps most surprising, benefit of saying no is the clarity it brings. Every ‘yes’ we give takes up time, energy, and mental space. When I started saying ‘no’ to things that didn’t align with my priorities, I discovered what truly mattered to me. I had more bandwidth for my family, my health, and my personal goals. Saying no wasn’t shutting the door—it was opening one to deeper self-awareness and intentionality in my life.
Another hidden benefit was the impact on my relationships. At first, I feared saying ‘no’ would disappoint people or make me seem selfish. But I found the opposite to be true. When I was honest about my boundaries, others respected me more. Friends and colleagues appreciated my authenticity, and I found myself surrounded by people who valued me for who I was, not just what I could do for them. It’s liberating to know that relationships built on mutual respect and honesty are far more fulfilling than those based on perpetual people-pleasing.
Perhaps most life-changing was the confidence I gained. Saying ‘no’ felt awkward and uncomfortable at first, but every time I did it, I became a little braver. I realized that I didn’t need to explain myself endlessly or apologize for my boundaries. The ability to say ‘no’ without guilt made me feel stronger and more in control of my own destiny. It’s an empowering feeling to know that you can protect your time and energy without needing anyone else’s approval.
Finally, saying ‘no’ allowed me to rediscover joy. By turning down things that drained me, I made room for things that truly lit me up. I started hiking, something I hadn’t done in years. I found time to reconnect with old friends and nurture my creativity. My life didn’t just become less chaotic—it became richer, more vibrant, and more aligned with the person I wanted to be.
Of course, learning to say ‘no’ is an ongoing process, but it’s a skill worth mastering. It’s not about rejecting people or opportunities; it’s about choosing for yourself and living a life that reflects your values and passions. If you’re hesitant to say ‘no,’ start small. With each ‘no’ you say, you’ll find a stronger, more authentic version of yourself waiting on the other side. Trust me, it’s worth it.
Anti-Quitters: New Year's Resolutions
The start of a new year is often filled with promises we make to ourselves - resolutions to improve, achieve, or finally tackle the things we’ve been putting off. The key to keeping our resolutions isn’t about adding more to your plate. It’s about letting go of what doesn’t serve you.
Today, January 10th, is known as “Quitter’s Day”. It falls on the second Friday of the new year, and it is the day that most of us (nearly 88 percent!) end up abandoning the resolutions we so optimistically set just a week or so earlier. Life gets busy, motivation dissipates, and the goals we outlined start to feel more like burdens than pathways to betterment. But where the problem lies isn’t in the resolutions themselves. The real issue is that we’re still saying ‘yes’ to too many things that hold us back from our priorities.
The truth is, every ‘yes’ we give is a trade-off. When you agree to commitments, distractions, or habits that don’t align with your goals, you’re saying no to the time, energy, and focus needed for the things that matter. On Quitter’s Day, many of us feel the weight of saying ‘yes’ and making those trade-offs. It’s not that our resolutions are unattainable; it’s that we haven’t cleared the space to make them a priority.
Saying ‘no’ is one of the most powerful tools we have, yet it’s also one of the hardest things to do. It’s not just about declining invitations or passing on extra work; it’s about creating space and time for the things that truly matter. It can take courage and practice, and it can feel uncomfortable if you’re used to being the person who always says ‘yes.’ But learning to say ‘no’ to what doesn’t serve you is the only way to say yes to what does.
Take a moment to reflect on the things you’ve said ‘yes’ to this year that might be pulling you away from your resolutions. Letting go of these distractions isn’t about failure or selfishness, it’s about alignment. When you align your actions with your values, you create a path that’s easier to stay on. The first steps you can take towards learning to say ‘no’ are: Identifying your priorities - in order to be clear on what truly matters to you, and pausing before agreeing - taking a moment to ask yourself if what you’re about to say ‘yes’ to aligns with your goals.
This year, consider what you’re truly committed to. Maybe it’s deepening relationships, advancing in your career, or taking better care of yourself. Whatever it is, honoring those commitments requires shifting from being everything to everyone to focusing on what fulfills you. It’s not about how much you can do or how many people you can please. It’s about living a life that aligns with your values, nourishes your passions, and allows you to show up for the things that matter most. Learning to say ‘no’ to the wrong things is how you say ‘yes’ to the right ones. It’s how you move from overcommitted to purposeful, from people-pleasing to self-caring, and from distracted to deeply connected.
Quitter’s Day doesn’t have to be the end of your resolutions. Instead, let it be a moment of reflection and redirection. Use this day to let go of the things that are holding you back and recommit to what you truly want to achieve. When you learn to say ‘no,’ you’re not quitting, you’re choosing to invest in yourself, your goals, and the life you want to build. So ,as you continue to persuade your resolutions, remember that the most meaningful commitments aren’t the ones you make to others. They’re the ones you make to yourself.
Sunshine Town Profile of the Week: Gorham, New Hampshire
Gorham, New Hampshire, nestled in the scenic Androscoggin River Valley, is a small town with a big history and an even bigger heart. Founded in 1836, Gorham thrived for decades as a hub for logging and railroads, its growth fueled by the pristine White Mountains and lush forests. Though the decline of traditional industries and the challenges of rural living have tested Gorham, the town’s resilience and determination have sparked a resurgence that embodies the spirit of small-town America.
Gorham’s embrace of snowmobiling has played a pivotal role in its revitalization. Known as a premier destination for snowmobilers, the town boasts over 1,000 miles of interconnected trails that weave through breathtaking landscapes. These trails, meticulously maintained by passionate local clubs, draw thousands of enthusiasts annually, injecting millions of dollars into the local economy. With well-organized events and strong support from local businesses, snowmobiling has become not just a pastime but a vital economic driver.
The historic Town and Country Inn and Resort is a shining example of Gorham’s commitment to welcoming visitors. For generations, it has provided a home base for tourists exploring the trails, enjoying family vacations, or simply soaking in the North Country charm. Its role in Gorham’s revival cannot be overstated—it represents a town saying “yes” to opportunity while preserving its traditions.
Beyond snowmobiling, Gorham has experienced growth in small businesses, outdoor tourism, and community-led initiatives. Entrepreneurs are breathing new life into Main Street, while the surrounding natural beauty attracts hikers, ATV riders, and outdoor enthusiasts year-round. This steady flow of visitors supports restaurants, shops, and lodging, showcasing the town’s adaptability and resilience.
Gorham’s story is one of defiance against decline. Its residents have chosen to say n’o’ to negativity and failure, embracing instead a vision of opportunity and determination. By celebrating its history, leveraging its natural resources, and fostering a spirit of community, Gorham has reclaimed its identity as a vibrant small town. In a world where rural communities often face extinction, Gorham stands as a proud example of perseverance and the enduring charm of small-town America. Please make plans to visit this great New Hampshire town!
Positive Profile of the Week: Sheriff Chris Connelly: A Proven Leader in Law Enforcement
This week we are delighted to highlight a wonderful friend and a true leader in the Granite State, Hillsborough County Sheriff Chris Connelly.
Chris has dedicated his career to public safety and effective law enforcement. With decades of experience, he has earned a reputation for being tough on crime while fostering strong partnerships with local law enforcement agencies. His selection as incoming Governor Kelly Ayotte’s Chief of Staff reflects his proven leadership skills and unwavering commitment to serving the people of New Hampshire.
As Sheriff, Chris has led proactive efforts to address crime in Hillsborough County, implementing measures that prioritize public safety and foster collaboration with municipal police departments and state agencies. Under his leadership, the Sheriff’s Office has significantly enhanced its ability to investigate and prevent crimes. His initiatives have focused on combating drug-related offenses and supporting community-based programs, demonstrating his comprehensive approach to law enforcement.
Chris has consistently emphasized the importance of working closely with local law enforcement to improve outcomes for the communities he serves. This collaborative approach has resulted in stronger partnerships that enhance resource sharing, streamline information exchange, and build public trust. His dedication to accountability, paired with his focus on addressing broader safety concerns, has been a hallmark of his tenure.
Known for his approachable and positive demeanor, Chris has fostered trust and engagement among his team, law enforcement partners, and the public. His ability to remain level-headed and optimistic under pressure has strengthened relationships and bolstered his reputation as an effective leader who prioritizes teamwork and community engagement.
In his upcoming role as Chief of Staff for Governor Kelly Ayotte, Chris will draw on his extensive law enforcement experience to help shape policies that promote public safety and foster collaboration across New Hampshire. With his dedication to crime prevention and community-focused solutions, Chris is well-prepared to support the Governor’s priorities and continue serving the people of New Hampshire with integrity and dedication. Chris, we are excited for your bright future and thank for your hard work and many years of dedicated service!
Quote of the Week: The Power of No!
"The difference between successful people and very successful people is that very successful people say no to almost everything."
Warren Buffett
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